Liberal Existential Crisis Hotline

Operator: Hello, this is the Liberal Existential Hotline center, how can I help you today?

Caller: I accidentally referred to my gender-nonconforming co-worker as “she” when they asked to use “they” pronouns. They said it was totally cool but I apologized profusely anyway.

Caller: I clicked “attending” to the women’s march Facebook event page but then I didn’t actually go to the march.

Caller: I laughed at one of Donald Trump’s tweets.

Caller: I made lasagna for dinner and then me and my boyfriend ate it and he said “thanks for cooking dinner” like it was the 1950’s or something.

Caller: I got into a Facebook argument today with someone in the comments section of a Westworld post.

Caller: I pretend to know who Nancy Pelosi is, even though I don’t really know who she is.

Caller: I told someone I listen to NPR every day, but I’ve never actually listened to it.

Caller: I almost voted for Jill Stein.